Just To Make It Official

I have a feeling no one will understand this and once they're finished reading this they'll be really confused.

Christina = Speaker of the House/The Big Sasquatch
Savannah = CEO/Horses of the Wind Sasquatch
Britney = Chairman/Green Mountain Sasquatch
Ava = Vice President and Background Guy/Big Mouth Sasquatch
Monique = Co-co-CEO/River Sasquatch
Julia = Treasurer/Imaginary Sasquatch
Jennifer = Co-CEO cubed/Curly Sasquatch
Allison = Bob (at first Chuck, demoted to Sally, demoted to Philip, then raised to Bob)/Sasquat

If you don't get it, don't worry. We don't either.